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I’m back… and still a semi-bitter bachelor.

First off, yes, I suck.
“JT, three posts in one week and then none in almost two months!? What the hell, man!?”
Short version: Life got in the way.
Longer version: Work. Dogs. Stress. Kickball. Alcohol. Women. Kick ass music festival. Alcohol. Money. Work. Bachelor party. Alcohol. And here we are.
So give me a break, yo. (I promise I’ll never leave you again)

Ok, now that is out of the way. Here’s what we’re going to talk about today: ….
Shit. To be honest I hadn’t really thought about it. Just felt bad that I’ve been seriously slacking. Ok… Ummm…
Work? No. I do enough of that.
Dogs? That would take a novel. But perhaps the next post. Especially since I’m about to watch after my parent’s dog Daisy, along with my dog, for a week. Oh boy. Yes. That will be in the next post or so.
Stress? Best left at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey.
Bachelor party? Just got back from one. Sounds good.

So let me start over
::ahem::
Ok, now that is out of the way. Here’s what we’re going to talk about today: The Bachelor (hell no, not the show)

So I got back from my great friend Ryan’s bachelor party yesterday, and…come to think of it… that was my first bachelor party. I guess my friends haven’t been the marry right out of, or a few years after, college type. Thank god. What I learned was there are two camps of people: the ones telling him how happy he will be & the ones telling hime to call that shit off.

It was close friends telling him how happy he will be. I’m not sure if it was to be supportive, or because we like his fiancee and genuinely believe he will be happy. I’m thinking the latter. It will suck at times, yes. All relationships do. But he’s been with this girl for a damn long time… high school sweethearts… and hell, I hope they make for the long haul.

The people telling him to run… well those are the people you want to listen to. Because they are often times damn funny and have some good stories. It’s the divorced, sour, married too soon, unhappy, and/or still single people. Hell, I even joked around about it from time to time.

It was then I noticed something about myself and other single people — there is a part of us, while single, that doesn’t want our friends to find romance either.

Whenever a close single friend starts dating someone, that partner in crime slowly gets pulled away. You start never seeing the person alone. Always with the significant other.
ME:   “Hey man, you want to chill.”
FRIEND: “Yeah, sure. Emily and I will be there in 20.”
ME:   “wait…I said yo-”
-click-
Every time they get in a fight, you gently push for that breakup. Yet it never happens.
Then finally they start referring to themselves as “we.”
ME:   “Hey man, you want to chill.”
FRIEND:  “Sorry, we’re just going to stay in tonight.”
ME:   “Alright. Well check out this picture of a sloth.”
FRIEND:   “Dude! That’s hilarious. We LOVE sloths.”
Wait… what the fuck just happened.
And marriage is the final straw. They are bound to someone else. On that leash. He/she can’t go boozing and creating stories that would cause a spouse would start throwing shit over the next day. Then when kids come.
Well, fucking game over.

But then you remember how much you love these damn people. And that you want them to be happy.

AND IF THOSE BITCHES DO ANYTHING TO HURT THEM… SO HELP ME GOD.

So yeah, it kinda fucking sucks when someone else takes the friends away. But hell. I know it will happen to me at some point. Maybe. But you just have to remember how easy it is to be happy that a friend you truly care about found ::gag:: that special someone. Bravo. That shit ain’t easy.

…Now stay tuned in a year or two when the divorces start rolling through…

ps. If this post sucks or was too emotionally-charged (it was for me), blame it on my extended absence and get ready for some good shit with the next post.

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June 10, 2013 · 1:56 pm